Sunday, June 14, 2015

Day 14 Hope Lies in Dreams


Hope Lies in Dreams: Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Day 14

I agree with this quote very much. Dreams and Imagination. I am a big proponent of both. But I guard my dreams. It is an ever-present battle to keep them in check. Just yesterday Sheila said "And one day your headache will be gone." And I said "Mhmm." I couldn't say "Yeah, I know they will." Because I do no know they will. I don't even really dream that they will. Isn't that strange? Maybe it's just my own weird brand of acceptance but I don't imagine what my life would be life headache-free. Partly because it's too painful. It's too stark a contrast to my curtained little world and partly because I don't like to hang my dreams on the moon. I want dreams that are possible. That I can make possible. But I still dream. I dream a lot. I dream about our new home that's waiting for us at the end of July. I dream of the little feet that will fill those rooms and explore that little creek. I dream of seeing my book on a bookshelf and someone telling me they want to buy it. I dream of all my family living together again. I dream of going to Europe again. 

It takes courage to dream these dreams, to dream that I can still do all these things with NDPH. That I can still be everything I want to be. It's scary when just an hour with my darling nephews make my head pound. It's scary when a crack in the curtains sends me off the depths. But if it's easy to accomplish it's not worth it right? Someone said something like that once. And you have to believe that because it will be so hard, it will be something really great.