Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Finding Contentment as a Mom: Ending My Love Affair with Sleep

Here in chronics my love affair with sleep and all the obstacles that come between us.

Not getting enough sleep makes it very very easy to become discontent. It's nearly impossible to break free from the crazy thought cycle.
"I'm so tired. I've never been this tired. She's never going to sleep."
"My head hurts so bad. This is the worst."
"I'm all alone in this. No one helps."
"I'm just so tired and my head hurts. I can't think of anything else."
But none of these things are 100% true. And it doesn't do to dwell on the problems. She will sleep again. My head will ease up. I will sleep again. I won't always feel this tired. I have so much help.
These are truths but they don't lent themselves to a good pity party.

Just to be clear, I love being a mom. It's the best. But the lack of sleep is a nightmare at first. It takes intentional emotional training to stop seeing sleep as the most important thing. It helps as baby gets older. But a missed nap or a late bedtime can still wreck emotional destruction if I'm not careful. But as I believe Daniel Tiger says  "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

I've had to give up at least 3 sleep hours to write this post and each time I felt a little crazy. What am I doing giving up sleep? But here is the thing: If I sleep when she sleeps I feel a little better but I feel lazy and I wasted time when I could have been getting chores done. If I don't sleep when she sleeps I'm productive but soo tired. There is no win, I don't think. Motherhood is just tiredness, at least this stage. Accepting that allows contentment. 
It is what it is.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Why I HAD to write a novel about headaches


 It was so subtle. I'd forgotten that the tree hadn't always been there. Bitterness is sneaky like that. It takes root and holds on and fills everything with shadows.
Oh poor Elinor. 

 Elinor was somehow able to put the words to the feelings I'd stuffed down deep, deep, deep in my soul. It was upsetting to see what was down there. I've talked about it before. But I was grieving what I'd lost. The life I was supposed to how. And when I finally pulled it all out. When I categorized and named every feeling and fear and hope, I felt free and light.  It was a beautiful surprise.

Of course writing Magic Headaches was just a piece of my healing process. But I'm not sure I could have climbed out of the hole without out. 
To see what all the fuss is about, check out my book.
P.S. I just got a new cover made and it's so beautiful!

Being a Mom with New Daily Persistent Headache: Better, the Same, & Harder

 So being a mom with New Daily Persistent Headache is, of course, different than I expected. I think motherhood always is. Parts of it have been so much better. Parts of it have been much harder. But the majority is kind of the same. I'll explain.

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Self Guided Hypnosis: Essential to Surviving Chronic Pain

Self guided hypnosis may sound kooky but...
These practices are really helpful. The mental pictures feel so real. It really makes such a difference if you fill your mind with positive imagery.

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

My experience with Botox: Poison in, Poison out

 Please enjoy this retelling of my experience with Botox. Graphically titled "Poison in, Poison out." 😉 I wrote this post for Migraine Headache Awareness Month #MHAM. Hope you enjoy. If you've tried Botox, let me know!