If my chronic headaches were a... MOVIE!

If you know me in real life then you'll know that I 

L-O-V-E the movie Groundhog Day. I don't know how many times I've seen it. Something about it is just so rewatchable to me. (I guess that's ironic?) I've talked about how my headache disorder, New Daily Persistent Headache, is the Groundhog Day of headaches. 

But my shot post last spring has not emptied my headache+groundhog day reservoir in my soul. So here is MORE!

Flashback to April 5th 2011.

(I think you should be singing "I've got you babe" for the next couple minutes. Just to put you in the right mental space.😜)

Pro Tip: Changing your hair color often helps keep the crazies away. It's nice to be able to change things. Even small things.

As I like to say "It's a fine, fine life."

New Moms are Crazy (Sorry New Dads)

Here is a picture of our family's sleep cycles when Jane was 8-10 months old.

There were some good nights. There were many bad nights. 

I kind of boxed myself into a hard place. Jane would only nurse. No bottles. And I used nursing as my #1 go to soothing device. So Matt was rendered kind of helpless.

 But no matter what I thought when it was 4 am and she'd been up for hours, I did eventually get to her got to sleep. Call me Super Mom.

Trying to drive in rush hour traffic with a car full of monkeys screaming, playing cymbals, pouring water on your head, and pulling your hair. It can be done but it does make you go a little crazy after a while.

Snuggling a bunny in a cozy (bug-free) meadow in a fancy dress and you magically have long beautiful hair. In a word it's: Divine

Guide to Surviving your First Migraine: AKA What would Edward Cullen do

I remember my first migraine with crystal clarity. It was scary. I didn't know what was happening. This blog post was designed to help you (a little bit) as you experience your first migraine.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. I know nothing about your specific case. This is a comedy blog that mains to make pain a little easier to bear. Go to your doctor for all medical advice. 

Okay now that that is out of the way: All you really need to know when you get your first migraine or really bad headache is : What would Edward Cullen do?

Critical: Go to a dark quiet room. Step 1. 

 This will change everything. You'll sigh and thank me as your pounding painful forehead is chilled to oblivion

 I like to listen to movie I know well since my head will be in a cocoon of ice packs. My top movies:
1. Twilight New Moon (obviously)
2. You've got Mail
3. Decoy Bride
4. An Affair to Remember
I have large chunks of these movies memorized...

 Ehhhh It's better than eating people I guess. Chocolate shakes are my life saver. A Coke is also a good route. Caffeine and sugar help.

Alice says it so it has to be true. Unless you are the kind of person that hangs out with werewolves...

Feel better, my friend.

Finding Contentment as a Mom: Ending My Love Affair with Sleep

Here in chronics my love affair with sleep and all the obstacles that come between us.

Not getting enough sleep makes it very very easy to become discontent. It's nearly impossible to break free from the crazy thought cycle.

"I'm so tired. I've never been this tired. She's never going to sleep."

"My head hurts so bad. This is the worst."

"I'm all alone in this. No one helps."

"I'm just so tired and my head hurts. I can't think of anything else."

But none of these things are 100% true. And it doesn't do to dwell on the problems. She will sleep again. My head will ease up. I will sleep again. I won't always feel this tired. I have so much help.

These are truths but they don't lent themselves to a good pity party.

Just to be clear, I love being a mom. It's the best. But the lack of sleep is a nightmare at first. It takes intentional emotional training to stop seeing sleep as the most important thing. It helps as baby gets older. But a missed nap or a late bedtime can still wreck emotional destruction if I'm not careful. But as I believe Daniel Tiger says  "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

I've had to give up at least 3 sleep hours to write this post and each time I felt a little crazy. What am I doing giving up sleep? But here is the thing: If I sleep when she sleeps I feel a little better but I feel lazy and I wasted time when I could have been getting chores done. If I don't sleep when she sleeps I'm productive but soo tired. There is no win, I don't think. Motherhood is just tiredness, at least this stage. Accepting that allows contentment. 
It is what it is.

Why I HAD to write a novel about headaches

 

 It was so subtle. I'd forgotten that the tree hadn't always been there. Bitterness is sneaky like that. It takes root and holds on and fills everything with shadows.

Oh poor Elinor. 

 Elinor was somehow able to put the words to the feelings I'd stuffed down deep, deep, deep in my soul. It was upsetting to see what was down there. I've talked about it before. But I was grieving what I'd lost. The life I was supposed to how. And when I finally pulled it all out. When I categorized and named every feeling and fear and hope, I felt free and light.  It was a beautiful surprise.

Of course writing Magic Headaches was just a piece of my healing process. But I'm not sure I could have climbed out of the hole without out. 

To see what all the fuss is about, check out my book.

P.S. I just got a new cover made and it's so beautiful!

See.

😍😊😍