I had a plan for my life. (Like everyone does). Graduate. Marriage. House. Baby. Baby. Dog. Happily Ever After. But as we all have learned. Life never ever goes by our plan.
It's really hard to want a baby and not have one yet. Each month seems like a million years. You try during peak days and then wait.... And then you take a test and another and then your period comes and you wait again to just to wait again... After a while it gets to you.
I'm not proud of this. But it's true. It's torture to see everyone else getting pregnant and having babies and then more babies. People start to pester you as to why you don't have kids yet. It's hard.
Baby fever is all consuming. You dream about having kids and holding them and loving them. And the emptiness of your arms in the morning is almost unbearable. Movies and books about orphans and children who just want mothers is an addiction and a poison.
My dream come true was Overboard. A woman just wakes up from a concussion and is suddenly the mother to four beautiful boys.
And as always...
Pro Tip: Dyeing you hair different colors helps with all the feelings. Especially is you are a middle child.
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